My orders are on the way

to report to the residence life education program at the University of Delaware. It seems that students who live on campus are now required to attend training sessions on and demonstrate adherence to

highly specific university-approved views on issues ranging from politics to race, sexuality, sociology, moral philosophy, and environmentalism.

So has I faced charges of racism/fascism and other assorted ism's last Saturday I can feel blessed that I do not attend School, where I would likely find myself tied to a chair watching "Pleasantville" with my eyes propped open with toothpicks.