A prayer of the left

Its a statement of faith and a prayer, and it is funny because it’s true.

I believe in Teh One. I believe in the Government (PBUI). I believe in the Constitution (imperfect document that it is) and the Preamble that proceeds it.

I believe that, “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” means that the government provides me with a job, pays my mortgage, provides me with life-long, free health care and that Teh One, and his minions will protect me from any speech that harshes my mellow.

I believe that unelected judges, of the proper political persuasion, should make laws that strive to perfect our Constitution (imperfect document that it is) by citing foreign law and by consulting the labor unions, the ACLU and NAMBLA.

I believe in the media as professors of the collective truth, the divine right of family Congressional succession and the power of the unelected, non-Senate approved czars.

I believe that all human activity should be controlled and regulated by the FDA, the EPA, OSHA and whatever federal entity has produced a study on it.

I believe that celebrities, no matter how uneducated, drug-addled and banal, are smarter and prettier than I am. I believe a job in Hollywood endows them with acute political perception and that they should guide my decisions.

For success in all of these things, we pray to Teh One and his minions in federally subsidized cubicles, Amen.

 

Thanks MCPO Airdale